How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
