she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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