Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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