so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
