I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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