To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
