Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
