My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
