I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
