i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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