Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
So much Jack, so little girl.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
