Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
