Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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