ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
