We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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