He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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