hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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