We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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