so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
