oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just google imaged poop.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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