what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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