I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
