Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize