I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Randomize
