it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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