I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
