4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
