i need an iv and a liver transplant
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
