I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
