My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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