She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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