my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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