Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You dont lie about slip and slides
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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