Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
