i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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