I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
