a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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