apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
