Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
