I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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