what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
