is your mom at the bar?
Quick, to the slutcave!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
PANTIES FOUND
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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