but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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