I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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