One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
