She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
