He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
