In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
