I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus