so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
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Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.