You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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