Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.