What did we do last night that was yellow?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.