DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
