so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
