If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
