Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Do vagina's smell?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Randomize
