I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
