Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
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My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
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Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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