She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
