How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
