dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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