sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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