I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
just tell him i said nine months
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
