Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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