were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
