Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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