If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
