Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
