When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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