dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It's rum buckets o'clock
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
