Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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